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I Wish I Could Give Less Than One Star [PATREON PREVIEW] - Hot Beer at the Cow Farm
56 Plays1 year ago
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Transcript
Lost in Translation: A Restaurant Review Mishap
00:00:00
Speaker
But I did find one more, one star review. Everything, I'm sorry, this one is called Horrible. And this is from January 16th, 2019. Oh, it's almost my birthday. Everything about this restaurant is horrific. The waitress didn't speak a word in English. The beer was hot, so they gave us glasses with ice.
00:00:26
Speaker
The food is so bad we couldn't eat it at all. And the price of a portion of french fries is higher than the price of dishes with meat. How is this normal? And this is a review of a small cow farm in the Chiang Mai district, Thailand. This is not a restaurant, this is a
00:00:48
Speaker
some sort of a cattle farm. How is this normal? Anybody who ends a review with how is this normal? Exclamation point. I'm looking at the pictures and there's just there's cattle and there's sheep.
00:01:09
Speaker
This person just walked into a farm and demanded a table. Yeah. And then they got a hot beer and said, I'll take French fries.
Birthday Fries at a Cow Farm: A Comedic Scenario
00:01:20
Speaker
Better give him what he wants. We don't have potatoes here. We're a cow farm. How is this normal? They're out there slaughtering a cow for this person's birthday.
00:01:36
Speaker
All right, you got one. I do. All right. This one is not a birthday related one. In fact, I'm not entirely sure what it's reviewing. Perhaps you can help me.
Bug Zapper Chronicles: The June Bug Saga
00:01:45
Speaker
OK. In that respect, avoid at all cost made a hero out of June bug.
00:01:52
Speaker
Do not buy! This thing lasted about five minutes. One June bug took one for the team, sacrificed himself for the greater good of bugs everywhere. He's a hero's hero among bugkind. I believe I heard the sound of taps being gently played afterward by a band of crickets.
00:02:12
Speaker
The only thing I can positively say about this product is that with the light on and no zapper ability, the light attracted a million of the June bugs friends to mourn him during the funeral procession. So this is a review of a bug zapper. I blew out from one bug. Yeah, one fast June bug.
00:02:36
Speaker
The light part kept working, so it just attracted more bugs. That is pretty funny. I'll give it to that
Inside Applebee's: A Former Employee's Tale
00:02:45
Speaker
person. And they, they gave it a little, a little comedic flair when talking about the crickets playing taps. That's, if you're going to give a one-star review, that's the one to give. And that sounds like it was possibly written by Tom Baudette. Just very dry humor.
00:03:05
Speaker
All right. Here's I'm just, I'm just going through what I got in order. I'm not saying this is the best, the next best one. I wish I could give less than one star to Applebee's part of dine brands global. This is from a former employee working there for more than three years.
00:03:25
Speaker
They gave a red X to recommend red X to business outlook and a neutral orange minus to CEO approval. The pros of working at Applebee's sometimes days off and free, disgusting food. Co-workers were all a bunch of drama queens or drug addicts. I really can't say anything good about this place. That's that's in the pros cons.
00:03:53
Speaker
Horrible management. Very dirty. Food is awful. I felt bad sending it out. Almost everything is cooked in the microwave. Every station has two microwaves. Nothing is fresh. The mashed potatoes come in bags that go in the steamer because they got too lazy to make them anymore. Advice to management? Close this place down.
00:04:23
Speaker
Every one-star review is a little dramatic, but I think that there's probably a lot of truth in a lot of them as well, you know? Oh, and just in case anyone was nervous, this was in the Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania Applebee's. Not the one that you go to that makes it how you like it. Yeah. The one where you say, this is normal. Four stars.
00:04:52
Speaker
Yeah, this guy is a whistleblower. He's like, they're cooking it all in the microwave. The potatoes are in a bag because they got too lazy. I love the idea that it was like laziness is why they did it. The CEO was like, I don't want to imagine these taters.